of late, i seem to be delving into the closed doors of my soul, it's not a conscious choice, these doors are appearing to me as dark epiphanies of sorts. i know my history, i know its facts and some of its impacts. now, i'm discovering its solutions, the conundrum is how to put these solutions in action.

i was reading this article written by the poet Nick Flynn, in which he relays one of his 'closed doors', consequent 'dark epiphanies' and chosen 'solution'. he states "my attempt to shine light on the way the stories we tell about ourselves, about our tragedies, can become packaged, and bartered. yet there is a price. packaging one's tragedies can become grotesque in some way. for me, the price became too great; it accelerated the slow erosion of my sense of integrity. and so began the long road to not doing that." 

for me, this rang true, however unlike Nick Flynn, the "slow erosion" did not relate to my integrity but to my future. my history is affecting my destiny and that cannot continue. i must become the architect of my destiny and not erode my heart & soul no more, i just have to set them free and allow them to shine. i must allow myself happiness, give myself the chance to live my life and not tie myself down anymore.

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